In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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