Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
