KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
