her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
