Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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