mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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