When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm both gender and math confused
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
