It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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