she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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