you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
