What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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