I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize