And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
