elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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