Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
