As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
