Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
