You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
