Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
