no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
