He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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