Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize