Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
