Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
