she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize