I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
