Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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