words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
