I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize