problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
