How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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