Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Success! We fucked roommates!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
