dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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