Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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