She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
