Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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