weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
