I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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