I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the day after is always just damage control
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
