Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Damn victory sex feels great
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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