I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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