Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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