There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
