Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
