So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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