There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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