The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
