Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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