Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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