She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
