I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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