You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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