i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm passing your future prison.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize