Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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