Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
