I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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