Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
