I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
