Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize