So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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