there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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